


I would not give you false hope

by rainbowfantasy



Series: just be still with me [5]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Mother's Day, Mother-Son Relationship, reference to miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 18:54:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30026301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowfantasy/pseuds/rainbowfantasy
Summary: The concept of motherhood was a peculiar one to the being that would come to be known as Jenova. It seemed to have many meanings to many people, but the important distinctions appeared to be that Mother meant the bringer of life, the origin of the young or caretaker of the tribe. It was in this form that it was easiest to spread from each living being on this Planet to the next, as no one would refuse 'her' in their guise of Mother.A small one-shot on motherhood in the JBSWM verse for Mother's Day.
Series: just be still with me [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2064600
Comments: 13
Kudos: 26





	I would not give you false hope

**Author's Note:**

> If you're reading the main story and don't want to be spoiled up to chapter 29, turn back here.

Motherhood comes to people in different ways.

The concept of motherhood was a peculiar one to the being that would come to be known as Jenova. It seemed to have many meanings to many people, but the important distinctions appeared to be that Mother meant the bringer of life, the origin of the young or caretaker of the tribe. It was in this form that it was easiest to spread from each living being on this Planet to the next, as no one would refuse her in their guise of Mother.

They had never expected to become a Mother themselves. When lives had been created using parts of them, those parts burned bright and then out quickly. Then the humans had used their form as the originator of living young, parts of them that had their own minds and bodies. They could not reach out in their weakened state when the young were so far away, but as the children had come to their guise of their mothers so to had their children come home. They could feel them now, in ice, in fire and earth. They could even hear the surface thoughts of one, weary and determined and whispered softly to him in case he could hear them too.

And they had also managed to create another, sickly but not burning out as the life forms usually did. Adult, whole and fully formed but still malleable to them. Exploring his mind as parts of them spread throughout the boys system was fascinating, as he had been so eager to show his 'mother' everything.

“There's my good boy,” they said inside his mind, mimicking the memories of his original source. “I'm so happy you're here.”

* * *

Motherhood came to Gillian later than most. It wasn't when her blood test came back, nor the first scan, nor the first time she felt her son move inside her or even when she held him to her chest for the first time. It came three days after Angeal was born when a myriad of tests were being run on both of them and he was clearly fussing, he wanted to be sleeping and not being poked and prodded. She could relate; she wanted to be sleeping too. Dealing with two very small children because Hollander was utterly useless with them was exhausting. 

In the end, she called for testing to stop and went to go lay down in the office with her son on her chest. That was when it hit her that she wanted the test results to be negative. 

Angeal looked and behaved like any other baby, but so had Genesis and there was something in his test results that had been decidedly not human and it had whipped half the department into a feeding frenzy to figure out what it did and how to access it. It wasn't that Gillian wasn't interested too, she would never have signed on with the project if she didn't think it would be an incredible achievement to bring back Cetran life to the planet but she had spent more time with the baby socially than testing. Part of it had been her own pregnancy and being careful about fumes or potential hazards, but some of it had been because he had been the only surviving child with her formula. Even test runs after him ended in losing the child and that should have bothered her. It would have bothered her a year ago, these little details she didn't know the answer to and didn't know how to solve. 

Something had changed and she realised that she wanted the tests to be negative because she wanted to take her son home. It had never really crossed her mind what it would feel like to be one of the mothers she'd been dealing with for the last two years. It was a silly thought, she hadn't even been back to her apartment below the plate in weeks and all her plants were probably dead by now. She didn't even own a cot for him. He was always meant to be here. So why did she so badly want to walk out the door?

It took another two months for her to convince herself to listen to her gut. Another to convince the head of the project that she was just tired and wanted to bring her son home to see where she lived and get some supposedly fresh air. Hollander had a fit over the whole thing, demanding that it was his son too even if he never so much as fed him or changed him or played with him and there had been some concerns about his safety. 

Gast was always wary of taking the children from the building in case they were hurt or people asked too many questions. His own assistant hadn't even achieved the clearance level to know they existed yet, let alone Gillian's neighbours but Gillian had a good poker face and she wore him down. She was Angeal's mother, she had designed the G-type cell structures and used her own body to test it. She was one of the few people trusted alone with the only living Jenova samples and if anyone could be trusted to take one of them out, it was her. So eventually, at thirteen weeks old, she took the train down with her son and tried to track the turk that was clearly following her to see if they remained once she got into the apartment.

“Oh, is this where you've been?” One of her elderly neighbours caught sight of the baby. “I thought they had you working all hours again.”

They did. Gillian hadn't come home in months. She kept spare clothes in the office and sent them out for cleaning. Whatever else you could say about working for Shinra, it wasn't as if they were shy about splashing gil on their Science department. Maybe that had been her final straw, the greedy, grubby little hands of Shinra's president looking at her boys like he could calculate their worth in gil. 

Perhaps part of it was that they didn't believe she could take her son and her son alone. She did feel a wrenching guilt over it, she would have taken both if she could but even taking Angeal was going to raise red flags and they were suspicious enough. It wasn't a kind decision, but it was the only one available. She was a mother and her child had to come first.

Taking the bus out of Midgar was the easiest route out of the city, the one with less people to check in on her or check for legitimate travel. She would have felt badly about electrocuting the people there for their 'safety' but she was sure they would do the same to her if they realised what she was going to do. So Gillian left, carrying only a baby bag with a couple of changes of clothes for them both, supplies for Angeal and a few things they'd sell to try to situate themselves somewhere Shinra would never be a part of either of their lives ever again. She had even left a recording of them playing in her apartment in case they had thought to bug it beforehand. It wouldn't last forever, but it would buy them time to put as much distance between them and Midgar as possible.

It would be worth it. 

* * *

Motherhood did not come for Lucrecia at all, or at least, this is what she would claim afterwards. 

It was just another experiment, another thing to document and observe. It wasn't until after the baby was born, whisked away before she had recovered enough to so much as hold him, that she felt something – loss, profound and terrible and all consuming.

* * *

Motherhood came for Celeste long after she had considered becoming one.

Celeste was a creature of comforts and always had been, but that wasn't to say she hadn't considered having a child. Most of her friends had children. They had tried for a while, but nothing had ever come of it and in the end, she had put all thoughts of babies out of her mind. Midgar was still under construction, but they had been invited to see it first hand by one of her husbands old friends who worked for Shinra and it had really been quite the show. Everything was clean and modern and beautiful. The same friend had encouraged them to make a purchase in Mideel, land that had belonged to Shinra but they were willing to sell it to the right person for a steal. That was what they were really here for, he explained. They were willing to hand it over not only for free, but they would pay maintenance cheques and make sure they were well compensated for moving from Costa del Sol to live on an island in the middle of nowhere. 

Celeste couldn't deny it was a beautiful place and the house was certainly a step up from their current home, but no one gave out things for free. Especially not people as wealthy as the Shinra family, no matter how good an in you had with them. 

So did she know something was off? Yes. Did she let it bother her? Not particularly. They stayed in the city and were wined and dined and she could hardly deny she was enjoying herself. They signed a lot of non-disclosure agreements, met with several people in suits and then signed a contract that said they would not be allowed to discuss elements of their deal without Shinra's prior notice or risk being arrested and sued. They would be expected to submit reports monthly at first, then they would review that after a year and see if they wanted more or less. None of it seemed out of the ordinary so much as very legally sound, but she did wonder why Shinra wanted to give the land away if they wanted reports on it.

Then it became stranger. They wanted to be notified if they wanted to leave the island, they wanted to make sure she understood that very clearly and that there would be severe consequences not to. Celeste liked that less, she enjoyed her travel and didn't like being beholden to someone else for decisions regarding it. They were to be taking care of and compensated for taking care of something that was Shinra's and while they were giving ownership away, they reserved the right to take it back but promised they would be well compensated if this turned out to be a case. 

Then they asked her about children and she was going to have some very big, very sharp words with her husband because she didn't like that her private life was on show. Still, they pushed for an answer and eventually, Celeste admitted that they had wanted to be parents but nothing had ever came of it and life had moved on. Whatever answer they had wanted, it seemed they had it. Not long after, one of the men in suits lead her up to a level that required a keycard, her photo and prints to be taken and another signature. After all of that, Celeste thought she was ready for anything Shinra could throw at her. It was clearly valuable if she was being pushed into jumping through this many hoops to know about it. A new type of technology, perhaps? 

The very last thing she had expected was to be brought into a small room with a crib. Nor to see that there was a baby asleep, curling it's fists into the blankets.

“I don't understand,” she said, looking from the baby to the man. “What does this have to do with the land?”

“The land is a bonus incentive,” the man said. “This is the piece you'll be taking.”

“The baby?” Something screamed in the back of her mind that something wasn't right about that. How could a baby belong to a company? 

“Clothes and supplies will be provided for him and we'll make sure someone comes out to do any medical requirements,” the man in the suit said. “There will be no unapproved travel or visits with non-company doctors. We will keep an eye on him – and the other child like him – but other than that, he will be yours. Do you accept?”

“I –“ Celeste didn't know what she could possibly say to that, but the baby moved and snuffled and woke up.

“Would you like to hold him before you make the decision?” the man in the suit was already picking up the fussing baby, giving it – him – a little bump as he picked him up. 

Celeste put out her hands almost instinctually and suddenly had her arms full of a warm, squirming baby. The whole thing was ludicrous. How could she possibly just take a baby, even one who was staring at her with huge, bright blue eyes like her face held the secrets of the universe in it? She was wearing designer, for Gaia's sake. What was she supposed to do with it? 

“What's wrong with him?” There had to be something. Something wasn't right.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” the man said. “He may develop slightly differently, or have some unusual abilities, that would be the sort of thing we'd want reported exactly when it happened in as much detail as possible. Preferably with evidence.”

The baby didn't look particularly different from other babies she'd seen. Bright, alert and surprisingly calm. When she held one of Elaine's babies, she had screamed like she was being murdered. “So I could just – walk out of here now, with him?”

“We'd want to get his paperwork sorted first,” the man in the suit said. “We would also prefer you go straight from here to the new place. Anything you need will be provided upon request and we will arrange for movement of everything without charge.”

“Who does he belong to?” Celeste asked. 

“That will remain classified,” the suit replied. 

  
“How old is he?” Celeste asked.

“That will be in the packet of information provided to you upon agreement to the contract,” the suit responded. “You'll need to decide if you want to keep his current name or if you'd like to change it.”

“What is he called?” Celeste asked.

“Genesis,” same the man and the baby promptly swiveled in her hands to look at him. 

“He already knows it,” she said. It wasn't a bad name, quite unusual but this was a highly unusual situation. “I wouldn't change it.”

“Then I take it we're moving forward?” the man in the suit said.

Celeste wasn't sure what her husband was going to think about this. Had he already known but not told her? Or would this be a surprise? He had wanted a child, albeit one by blood, but he had been all for getting in with Shinra and their board for his work. 

And the baby really was a very pretty little thing. 

“The project's a...baby,” her husband said, after joining her to sign more paperwork than they'd filled out to buy their house. 

“You didn't know that part,” Celeste shifted the baby on her lap as he tries to squirm away to go and touch things on the desk.

“No,” he admitted. “I knew it would involve looking after a project they wanted to be hands off with, but that explains why Frank wanted you to come.”

“We don't have to go through with it if that's how you feel,” Celeste responded waspishly. 

“No, it's still a good deal,” her husband said. “If you're sure you can handle it.”

What a ridiculous notion. How could she not handle such a tiny person?

Motherhood had a way of making people eat their words and it hadn't taken long for Celeste to feel entirely out of her depth. Genesis developed some sort of separation anxiety within the month and refused to do anything unless she held him, through tantrums where she spent literally hours trying to get him to just sit and eat or take a nap but he had a will ten times his size and wanted attention constantly. Even if she had never felt so wrung out and exhausted in her entire life, it had still made her heart flutter the first time he had called her Mama and it was only slightly dampened by the fact he immediately started laughing as if he knew what a cosmic joke her life had become.

Maybe he did. She suggested it in the report, but no one had ever gotten back to her about it.

* * *

  
Motherhood came to Mrs. Fair as she preferred to be called in exactly the order she expected. 

Firstly, she had gotten married, then had a baby and set about trying to keep said baby in line as he turned from toddler to wunderlust filled child to adventurous teenager. It wasn't an easy job, but she loved her family and did her best to make sure everything was as perfect as it could possibly be. It would have been easier if Zack didn't have a restlessness in his soul that caused him to wander off if left to his own devices for mere minutes nor that he could and would talk to absolutely everyone to try and make friends. 

She shouldn't have been surprised when he decided one day to simply disappear off out of the visit, making her hear about him running off to Midgar _third hand_. It took a lot to keep her peace and be supportive when what she wanted to do was drag him and make him listen because Midgar was a den of iniquity and he was very impressionable, always had been. It took four years for him to even remember to write to them and say he was alright and not dead in a ditch somewhere!

Motherhood could be a very trying experience when your child didn't seem to value the same things as you, did not listen to you and didn't want the life you had been meticulously planning for him before he was born.

* * *

Motherhood came to Claudia in an unexpected, but not unwanted way. 

Motherhood was something she was good at. It came to her like a duck to water. It was a good thing, too. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but that village was not Nibelheim. They were an old fashioned folk in many ways and when people said they were sorry about the father no longer being in the picture, they meant well but the stigma seemed to stick long after Cloud had come into her life. It never bothered her much, even if it made it more difficult when Cloud became old enough to realise that people tended to treat him differently. If Claudia could have shaken every person for making him feel unsure of himself, she would have. 

Instead, she did her best to be both mother and friend. Cloud didn't make friends easily, he was quick on the uptake and smart and full of emotion in the way people could penalise young boys for. Even when a budding friendship with Tifa Lockhart had been dashed, he was sad but resilient. No one could ever say her son wasn't a strong, determined kid and she was exceptionally proud to be his mother no matter what people said about him or her through barely veiled comments under their breath. Even when he got into fights, she understood why – feeling on the outside looking in was hard and she had worried Cloud wouldn't find his place here.

For Claudia, it was harder to send her son on his way with a watery smile and make him swear to write to her as much as possible. He had dreams that were a lot bigger than her life had ever been but Nibelheim was her home and the few friends she had here, she cherished. Being a mother meant knowing when to let go and let him live his life, let him find a nice girl and maybe find what he couldn't in the village. Or a nice boy, as it had become increasingly obvious he was mooning over one of his closest friends.

When people had begun to disappear again, as they had years ago, Claudia began to wonder if perhaps she would be targeted as someone without many strong ties to the village. It had been what she assumed was happening when she opened the door to find Tifa Lockhart outside despite having been sent away with Zangan almost a year ago. The idea that her son was now one of these disappeared despite being safe off in the big city made her blood run cold and if anyone were to ask why she ended up punching Brian Lockhart for his baseless accusations, she could only blame it on a surge of maternal instinct.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Mother and Child Reunion by Paul Simon.


End file.
